Sunday, May 8, 2011

A crazy week of appreciation

It's a year ago today that I was getting my lungs cut open by Dr. Bedard and his team who came in on their day off to figure out what's going down in my body. It's a year ago today I got my diagnosis. What a journey of growth (on many levels - ha ha) it has been this past year. Brian and I went out the other night (on the 6th - a year to the day of getting into emerg and being told I have a very nasty cancer in my lungs) to celebrate another year of life and getting to spend it with the people you love.

What have I learned in the last year?

Family is the MOST important thing in the world. The people you love and chose to spend the rest of your life with in front of all your friends. The people that have come to this world out of that love. The people who bore you out of their love. The people who you grew up with and fought with as a kid and discovered the world with as a sibling. The people who have accepted you into their lives because of the love you have for their son/brother. I love my family more than any words could ever express. Thank you so much for being my rock - all of you.

Friends are invaluable. People who you work with every day that take time out of their busy lives to show you love, support and give you courage. People you play with, and drink with and eat with and wouldn't think they would have the time to think about you, and they end up surprising you and filling your heart with joy and love.

Don't judge. You never know what the person you're choked with for taking their time crossing the road is going through at this moment. You don't know why that big person riding one of those little automated chairs is that big and in that chair. You don't know that the girl with the snarly face at the checkout is that way because the doctors have put her on some crazy meds. You just don't know. We all have our own crosses to bear and our own demons to fight. I have learned this last year to give people a break and be gentle with them (except when I'm having a pred rage moment - then I can't help myself, I try, but not always successful). What's on the outside is not always congruent with what's on the inside.

Take every moment of feeling good and being happy and cherish it because you never know what tomorrow holds. Treat it as the miracle it truly is. Live every moment like the next might be taken away (cuz it can be) with dignity, grace, loyalty, love and joy (I am not saying I've got this one nailed, but I try).

Don't stress out about tomorrow because I really have no clue what tomorrow holds. It's as much as a mystery as what lies on the other side of the universe, so I have stopped worrying about what can happen and if it will. There are billions of things that can happen tomorrow or next year, but I know what's happening NOW, so I will react accordingly.

Question authority. Not always but don't just take authority's word because they're in a position of authority. Those positions are held by people like you and me who have good days and bad days, who skipped some classes in school and don't know everything about everything. Inform yourself as much as you can and be an active participant in the big decisions that guide your life in a certain direction. Authority, for the most part, appreciate that.

There, I've  pontificated enough. Now to going out and enjoying my beautiful family. Happy Mother's day mommas. A big fat hug and kiss to my momma, thanks for being there for me during the super crazy times a year ago, there are some memories that are fuzzy, but one thing that is crystal clear is looking up between being in and out and always seeing your face looking down on me - full of love and compassion. I love you mommy.

1 comment:

  1. marta-smarta, this is beautiful. your insight and wisdom never ceases to amaze me. i am so fortunate that we are friends. xoxo